I admit it. Reading the obituaries has become part of my daily newspaper reading regimen. I suspect a lot of people of a “certain age” do the same thing. Oh yeah, the usual retort is “I read the obits to make sure I’m not in them”, or some other variation of the adage attributed to the great old (and dead!) comedian George Burns, who said “I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name’s not there, I eat breakfast.” But I prefer the quote from David Levithan – “If you start the day reading the obituaries, you live your day a little differently.”
As I read the pages of the “recent deaths” a maelstrom of thoughts and feelings develops as these individuals who have been previously unknown to me now become real people and not just a list of names on a newspaper page. Some obituaries are quite brief, perhaps just mentioning that there were few next-of-kin and that there would be no funeral service. Perhaps a beloved pet was the only survivor. Others celebrate a life filled with remembrances of family celebrations, the kindness and generosity of the deceased and how much she will be missed. Other obituaries are replete with personal and professional accomplishments. Then there are the ones that speak of the young person who dies in their 20s or 30s, perhaps leaving a young child to grapple with the loss of a parent. Drug overdose or suicide? Sometimes you get a clue in the text of the obituary as to how or why the person died, directly stated that so-and-so died of cancer, or as result of the struggle with substance abuse, or that in lieu of flowers a donation should be directed to a non-profit organization like the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society. But usually one is left wondering as to the circumstances surrounding the death, and more importantly one is left wondering about the impact of that person’s life on family, friends, colleagues, and society.
Few of us have the opportunity to write our own obituary. For what would we want to be remembered? What would be our legacy? Did my presence have a positive impact on something, or someone? Will I leave a footprint in this world?
More important than personal financial prosperity, accolades for professional achievements, and public notoriety is the ability to be able to connect at some level with another human being. This world has many truly amazing people – they have such generosity of spirit and a innate ability to make one feel respected and loved and to feed the soul. What a gift it would be to be able to give so unselfishly of oneself!
(Photo: Camino de Santiago, Triacastela, cemetery at the Iglesia de Santiago)
All that most of us will ever leave on this earth after we die is a tombstone in a cemetery or a memorial plaque in a mausoleum and perhaps an obituary published in the local newspaper. As we get older and really begin reflecting back on our lives, can we recall the times we made that “connection”, whether it was a word of encouragement, an unsolicited act of kindness, a warm embrace, a simple smile? These are the things to be celebrated in our own obituary.
Camino Musings 
Your blog entry was among the first things I read this morning. Thank you — Brian
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou
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